transitions

i wanted to start this off by saying something like “hallo from germany!” but its not really that cool because its hallo in the netherlands too so… scheiße! i am in germany now. but first i will recap the week.

my week started off like the previous one, sleepily dragging myself out of my little nest, and crawling out into the dewy, open world again. i will never get tired of being outside almost immediately after waking up– feels like thats how it should always be. this week was definitely a hot one. we were given the option to start work at 6am instead of 8am to beat the heat, i tried doing this on tuesday but i ended up a grumbling, tired mess for the entire day so i decided to stick to starting at 8. this was a choice that isolated me a good deal, because most of the other volunteers decided to start earlier. i was mostly fine with this since i think i prefer getting lost in the berries for hours rather than making conversation all day– sometimes that was nice, though.

on wednesday evening i went with tyler and one of the frenchies, named izoenn (1. isnt that the most beautiful name ever? and 2. to introduce this new character to the story, she is a musical gem; a bird always singing, shes a great swimmer, and one night she called me the most beautiful girl in the world and i have to admit i was thinking about that for the rest of the night) anyway, we went to get some turkish kebab for dinner in a nearby town. biking together felt so fun and free and alive. at one point we found something of a rogue sprinkler emitting a very attractive mist into the air, naturally, we had to stop to bike through it many times. at this kebab place, there was this lounging cat atop our picnic table. he was very sweet and enjoyed a lot of scratches from us. izoenn promptly named him jeremiah.

onto the not so fun part, earlier that wednesday during work there was a new person on the farm who also decided to start at 8 and happened to be picking red currants right behind me. we had yet to talk at all so i decided to start up a conversation and get to know her a little bit… and unfortunately, i got to know whatever viral sickness she brought with her too. yea fuck that. thursday morning i woke up with the worst sore throat ever. it does feel pretty unlucky to manage to get sick while being pretty isolated on a farm, but of course, one sick person comes and my puny little immune systems cowers into submission. over the course of the day i was exhausted, achy, and very sad to be sick. the host, my dear friend, willemien, allowed me to rest in her home. it was a much better situation for me than trying to spend my days resting inside my caravan because of how hot it would get and also the far distance to any amenities. i will forever be grateful for that. now i think i will take a slight tangent to dive into willemien’s character more: she was the person i formed the closest and most meaningful connection with on the farm. she is one of the most genuine and kind people ever, all while being a do-it-all superfarmer. we shared a joy for music and conversation. we spent many a meal together and even a couple nights we played mario kart. one evening, she made me stamppot, a very dutch dish– it was delicious, and a nice hearty meal that i will probably make myself on some fall or winter night. and together we also made poffertjes, tiny dutch pancakes. she definitely made my time here special. ok, back to being sick. that same day that i got sick also happened to be the final campfire– both the last one of my time there and also the last night of many of the other volunteers at the farm. isolated, sad, and sick, i did find myself having an emotionally rough night. seeing all the photos and videos in the group chat of everyone having the best night together, playing a game called werewolf which i managed to miss both times (the first time i left the campfire early to go to amsterdam), i muted the group chat and went to town in my journal. shoutout to my therapist for teaching me the most helpful ways to process, and get over hard feelings. friday my sickness felt worse, but i ended up sleeping for like 13 hours and accidentally broiled myself in my caravan in the process. in the end, this might have been a good thing because i think this is when i got the worst of it out of me. saturday was much better but not 100%, sunday i was finally over it, just some lingering headaches. and just like that, my final week at the farm was over.

monday, my final day, back to work. feeling weirdly disconnected now, i spent my time picking blackberries in a very thoughtful place. i felt different. maybe i will return with a bonus post for a deeper, more detailed explanation of all my feelings throughout my final work day, because there were a lot. for now, i said my goodbyes and off i went. as i stood with my earbuds in at the bus stop, i found myself shedding a few tears. either we blame bon iver for those tears, or, the fact that i realized i was started to feel myself molt. i thought of the person i was just two weeks ago arriving at this same bus stop. i felt very different from that person now. in that moment, i felt a love for that person, and a lot of sadness for her too. im being dramatic now, but transitions have always been intense for me. i think this is going to a recurring feeling at the end of every place i go.

a bus, a train, a walk, then another bus later, i found myself in münster, germany. and waiting for me at the bus stop was my friend, jana! jana is someone ive been friends with for something like a year now, but it was actually somehow our first time meeting in person. despite her often being in new haven while visiting her boyfriend, we could never get the timing to line up. but the time is now! im staying with her for the next few days in her very cute apartment; its colorful, charming, and gleaming with soul.

münster is quite lovely. the architecture is old and stunning. my first night jana gave me a quick tour of the towns center, with our frozen pizza in hand.

today, while jana was at work, i braved the bike lanes and got some grub. it was damn tasty grub, affordable too. i also biked to a botanical garden. the peaceful, calm breathing that was brought to me from being around all the beautiful plants was very welcomed after being an idiotic foreigner trying to figure out the lanes, roads and general biking etiquette all day– (i am sorry to everyone in münster.) my favourite part about this garden was the greenhouse, inside, there was this tree i have never seen before with the largest, woody thorns on all of its branches. i may have to get this tree’s branches tattooed on me because it looks so fucking sick. its almost natural cybersigilism.

this greenhouse also housed, the largest ponytail palm i have ever seen.

this evening, jana and i grabbed some food and i got to try my first local german beer. not gonna lie, i don’t remember what it was called, but it was tasty! i love beer. anyway, we also walked around and got some ice cream.

this place feels certainly more fast paced than where i just came from, but its a welcome buzz. i am genuinely loving the vibe of this city so far. i am excited to continue to explore it.

thats all from me now. thanks for reading! see you next week.